L U C ┼ F E R (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stylistic_disloyalty) wrote2017-08-09 04:32 pm
stylistic_disloyalty) wrote2017-08-09 04:32 pm
[MASK OR MENACE] IC Contact
"Funny enough I'm not going to lie here-- I definitely saw your call but I'm going to decide whether or not to respond based on how interesting the message is. I'd make it good. Maybe I'll change your contact to 'Yeah, This is Worth Answering'."
( Voice / Text / Action )
2/2
i just meant
i figured you might not be
no subject
No, I'm not.
She was doing better. She didn't deserve to go back into all of that.
no subject
from what i've heard of it, no one deserves to go back to that
but no
she definitely didn't
i'm sorry, luci
no subject
it's taking everything in me right now not to be an asshole to you
even though I know you're just trying to be supportive or something
but I don't know what to do with
everything
no subject
be an asshole to me, then
if that's the most self destructive thing you get up to today, i'd call it a win
if i knew a better way of handling, i'd tell you. i don't know. i just
wish i could protect you from this kind of crap
and yeah that you can definitely call me names for, i know how it sounds
no subject
I'm just a drug to you
no subject
well that was effective
wrong, but effective
maybe it was true once, i don't know, but it hasn't been in a while
i happen to care about your sorry ass
why is a harder question
who the hell knows why anyone cares about anyone
i just do
no subject
and I guess I asked for that too.
I like you because you dont like my bullshit, so many fuckers just treat me like I'm infallible
I'm not
I'm a fucking mess
no subject
but i did literally ask for it
lesson learned
but i mean all of us are messes, luci
i know i don't totally get the god thing
you can do some fucking incredible things
but far as i can tell you can be just as stupid as the rest of us
but being upset, right now?
being a mess?
that's not stupid
it sucks, and it's awful but it's not stupid
just means you still care about shit
no subject
i just wanted to love somebody before i died
maybe it's better that she doesn't see the end?
no subject
it doesn't seem to like offering assurances on stability or the lack of it, so who knows
but you still got to, right?
it can't take that from you
hasn't found a way to take our hearts from us
yet, anyway
10 dollars says give it a year
AND AFTER THAT..... UNINTENTIONAL BREAK...............
...yeah. I still got to. But
I want more. It didn't feel like enough. Even though she gave me everything. I want more, I wanted to give her more. Tell her more. There was so much bullshit I wouldn't let her see at the beginning.
If it's a year and I'm still here, great. I've got about six months until You Know What. Would be great if she could just not see me like that.
no subject
[ Force knew his Dad had been wrecked forever, after his Mom died. And Poe wasn't about to lie and say that things just fixed themselves and that grief disappeared. A day didn't go by where he didn't miss his mom. Or his General. Or Finn. So no platitudes. ]
you might still get a chance
and, well
maybe small blessings then
i think she'd still rather be here for that than not, though [ Even if he's pretty sure that Persephone would stab him for what he promised Luci he would do. ]
but hell
who the fuck knows what happens after, right
we'll either find out or we won't
no subject
[Surely whatever could be imagined would be less horrifying than what would actually transpire. Surely if Luci was there to reassure her that everything was fine, it would be better than holding her breath and hoping everything would be alright.]
Okay I know I'm the patron god of Living in the Moment but
she always used to say it was never going to be okay
and I believed that, because I'm the devil and slowly burning from the inside out thanks to something I never actually wanted
but
now
i want it to be okay and i want to know it will be