stylistic_disloyalty | [MASK OR MENACE] IC Contact

[ Being a god means you can just walk across broken glass and not give a fuck and wrap your arms around your girlfriend. "Sorry," doesn't cut it, and it's not like she had any choice anyway, but she can hold Luci tighter than any fangirl could. ]

[It's real. She's real, she's there, she remembers--]

[The thoughts drift through her mind slowly at first as her sleep-deprived brain struggles to scan for any indications that this Laura still doesn't know her. But eventually they're streaking through her mind almost too fast for her to understand, and the emotional chaos peaks with Luci wrapping her own arms around Laura and pressing her cheek into that perfect seafoam mane.]

Fuck--! Fuck oh god, you know me... Fuck, Laura.

[ She holds Luci's head against her, rubbing her thumb in circles on her neck. ]

Uh huh.

[A wet chuckle comes out of Luci, because of course in this moment, the one Luci has prayed for for literal days and put herself through so much agony over, Laura's response is 'uh-huh'.]

Shockingly comforting, despite being in a constant state of losing my mind for the past few days. [She pulls back and runs her thumb over Laura's cheek, tracing the line of her red marking. She misses the intense spray of freckles, but sacrifices have to be made.]

I've-- [Missed you? No, that phrase is ruined forever.] Nothing was right when you weren't here.

I know.

[ And she does. Losing Luci had broken her once, and while she'd made progress on making a person out of the pieces left behind, but now- . . . now it will always break her. There's nothing to be done about that. They're a binary system. Symbiotic. Damned together, and even more damned apart. ]

Sorry.

Edited 2018-07-15 03:15 (UTC)

I'm not. [She leans back in, pressing her forehead to Laura's and cradling her jaw.] It was the worst thing I've ever lived through. [So far.] That's what I wanted, twisted as it sounds.

[But it is better with Laura back. She'd never liked feeling bereft and angry, but in a bizarre way it was nice to know she cared about something enough to feel something about it.]

[ She closes her eyes, just feeling Luci's touch and breathing her air. ]

Tell me?

Edited 2018-07-15 03:53 (UTC)

Tell you what? [Luci swallows, trying to keep her voice steady.] That I would have given anything to have you back? That I wasn't listening to anything anybody said, because that would mean accepting you were gone? That I wanted Baal to beat the shit out of me so I could feel literally anything else? That when you came back, and didn't know me, my chest hurt and my throat closed for hours?

[ Her hand smooths over Luci's hair, prompting her to continue. Luci will clam up when she needs to, but Laura's here to hear about her nightmare of a month. ]

Fuck, more? [This is like pulling off a band-aid slowly-- it hurts, but she knows it has to be done, and doing it quickly might fuck up the heal.
She sighs, pained, but leans into Laura's hand.]

You want me to tell you I pushed everyone away, Inanna, Yusuke, Yuri, Cassandra, because I thought I'd made a mistake caring about people? Or that I slept on your couch for days when you didn't answer my texts? Coke and booze didn't do anything? I spent several days in Poe's clothes because I didn't even know who I wanted to be?

Or do you want me to tell you that I should have said 'fuck it' to our rule and told you I loved you whenever I damn well felt like it?

. . . uh huh. That last one.

[ hey guess what, it's someone else's turn to get SCOOPED UP BRIDAL STYLE ]

[Wow, way to steal her thing.]

[Luci makes a surprised noise, but she doesn't fight it. She's wanted to be held like this for weeks, but only Laura would do-- no offense to any of her friends, obviously, but the strong arms of her goddess were hard to compete with. Luci hangs on to Laura's shoulders and buries her eyes against her neck.]

I love you. I've loved you since you came back to save me. I loved you even when your song took me apart. I love that stupid thing you do with chopsticks and how you still roll into me even when its bloody fucking hot in bed, I love how you leave the shower curtain outside the goddamn bathtub and make out with people who look like me when you're wasted, and I love that I can't just shrug and move on when I can't get a hold of you.

[Screw brand, screw acting the part, screw everything she's supposed to be right now. That mask is waiting for her, but with Laura, it might as well be made of glass.]

[ Listen, it's just too good a thing NOT to steal. Laura listens to her ramble, holding her close. She doesn't have Luci's way with words- hell, she probably doesn't have Elanor's way with words. She presses her cheek into Luci's hair, murmuring just for her. ]

I'm not going to leave you, Luci. Never if I have any say in it. And if I don't have a say . . . then I'll make my own say. I'll come back.

If it's for you, nothing's going to stop me, especially not some wrinkly over-powered bitch.

[ As she says it, she knows it's true. For so long Laura had wanted something to prove her life had meaning, something that made it worth living. But she knows now that no one can hand you that. There are still bad days, sure, but she can't give up now. Giving up on herself means giving up on the people she loves, and she can't do that anymore, least of all to Luci.

She bends just a little to get Luci within arm's reach of the bar. ]

Get the drinks.

Edited 2018-07-16 18:33 (UTC)

[How many times had her parents left her home alone, never asking if she wanted to come too? Being left alone in prison wasn't new, just more dire, and Laura had been the only one to break that loneliness. Hearing someone tell her they're not going to let her feel that kind of isolation again, it's like being scraped clean. She feels vulnerable and raw, but better for it.]

[She lets out a ragged sigh as Laura tips her towards the bar, and she pulls the half-empty bottle of whiskey into her lap and grabs Laura's concoction, which she helps herself to a sip of.]

Ugh, how do you drink this?

[Her head lolls back onto Laura's shoulder, exhausted apparently, but not too exhausted to try to inject some strange normalcy into this whole situation.]

I'm channeling all my self-destruction into flavor.

[ Said flatly enough that she may well be telling the truth.

It's no wonder that Luci's exhausted. Little is more tiring than getting jerked around by the Porter, but she knows Luci. Laura herself tends to implode- collapse under the weight of heartbreak, but when she gets down, Luci gets up- way too up. She explodes, she burns. Now that she's done with it, her fire is down to embers.

She starts heading back to their bed. ]

You made me want to live, so I had to figure something else out.

Edited 2018-07-16 19:04 (UTC)

How dare I. [It sounds deadpan, but Luci can't help but smile. If she can point to that as the only thing she accomplished in her short life, she'll be thrilled.]

I'd do the same, you know. No wrinkled bitch would keep me from you. Even if I had to crawl on my tongue.

I'm sure you just couldn't help yourself.

[ She snaps the fingers of the hand under Luci's knees, and a vine comes out to open the door for them, and then she's laying Luci on the bed carefully, almost reverently, and then reclaims her awful drink in one pull. ]

Inanna and Cassandra are looking for her, you know. Lachesis.

Just had to ruin your perfect plan.

[Well, it's not blowing open a door, but Luci figures it has its charm. She's still and pliant while Laura sets her down on the bed, but holds out the tumbler for her to take her concoction. As far as she's concerned, this whiskey bottle is now her security blanket.]

Gesundheit.

[ She downs the vile concoction and thunks the tumbler down on the bedside table and crawls on top of Luci. She's a little smaller, sure, but that doesn't mean she can't cage her and her security whiskey against the bed. ]

Oh shut up.

[ She could explain- tell her to think about what it would mean if they could find and confront their captor. They'd be free. Freer than they could ever be at home.

But fuck talking about any time besides now. In fact fuck doing anything besides kissing this devil. ]

[At this moment in time, Luci doesn't care about anything but the amazing woman over her. She's never believed in a way out for them, it would be too convenient, but she does believe that if she doesn't have Laura soon she's going to shrivel up and die.]

[She pulls Laura down to her and starts gentle, her arms wrapped behind her neck. There's plenty of time for things to get heated and fast, this is the moment where Luci puts her mouth where her mouth is. If being separated from Laura taught her anything, it's that her feelings are a lot stronger and more real than maybe she initially gave them credit for.]

[ Slow is fine, slow is good. Her stint as Laura wasn't nearly as exhausting on her as was on Luci, but she's not exactly in the mood to wreck the bedroom. Instead she lavishes Luci's face with kisses, and murmuring her name over and over. ]

[Luci does the same, whispering Laura's name to her and running her fingers through those thick turquoise locks she missed so much. It's enough to make her cry. Instead she takes deep gulping breaths between kisses and whispers, and holds Laura like she's going to disappear again.]

[And then she drops her hand down to the front of Laura's pants and palms her.] Let me take care of you, please darling. That's all I want right now.

Yeah, yes. Whatever you want. [ She lets out a long, hot breath against Luci's neck, and lets herself rest against her hand. ]

Take me apart, hold me together. I'm yours, Luce. I need to be yours.

[Luci's next breath trembles out of her mouth, overwhelmed by the idea that Laura wants to be hers. After spending so many weeks believing she'd lost the one person she'd ever loved, it's like a cool salve spreading from her heart to every cell in her body.]

I need to be yours too. Don't worry. I have you. [She flicks the button out of the buttonhole with a slow but practiced motion, and pulls the zipper down. Her hand slips inside, her fingers dipping in to find Laura's clit and circle around it. No teasing, just Luci trying to get Laura's approval and please her.]

Yeah, you have me.

[ She sighs with pleasure, burying her face against Luci's neck and savoring the moment. It seemed unthinkable, that she'd put Luci through so much and that only made her love stronger. It seems like more than she deserves.

But Luci was always good at keeping Laura selfish.

Without warning, Laura takes Luci by her hips and is rolling them both over to put herself underneath. ]

Then again, you did get me wound up something terrible. Might take more than your fingers and tongue to fuck me right this time.

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How filthy are we gonna get in the inbox lmao

WELL NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT....